STARING AT A PLANT.

On my counter I have a cactus. It sits right in front of where I sit each morning for breakfast, six inches lower than plate level. This particular plant hasn't always held such a regal place in my kitchen. A couple days ago I uprooted it from a spot a bit tucked away, one I don't often have cause to pause at. Frequently I would forget to water it even the meager amount it requires. So here it sits, relocated and eager to be noticed.

There are actually two varieties of cactus in this pot. One that flowers at Christmas and one around Easter. The latter plant is covered in a ripple of buds that slowly open over the course of the day, revealing itself in fullness around noon. After a few hours of shameless display, it draws inward returning to bud and self.

This opening and closing is rhythmic. Cyclical.

A pattern I can expect to repeat each day until the flowers fall to the ground.

A couple days ago I posted this:

In the same way flowers are created to bloom only then revealing the full breadth of their beauty, we too are created to reveal our beauty to the world. The more I lean into the things that bring me life and joy and peace; the more I sink into being created fully enough; the more I open all of me to the world, trusting in it's goodness, the more I'm finding the world to be filled with a tangible pulse, a beat, a Spirit. There is fear. There is pain. Much of which I can't explain. But as I come back to beauty and peace, this is what the world consistently offers back to me.

As I continued to meditate, I began to see the pattern of the plant. What I find intriguing as I watch this plant each day, is how it so closely mirrors the natural patterns within my own being - this idea of outward and inward. In order for its flowers to continue to open, for it to continue to give its beauty to the world, this plant must draw in, close, seek rest and stillness. Carving out space for this rest, this inward movement towards the soul, has been the only way for me to seek with clarity the things that fill me up, bring me life and joy and peace. There is rest, there is stillness, there is silence and from this well we draw movement and creativity and life.

Sometimes it takes moving things around, clearing the dust, bringing things out of corners and into light for us to see.

I almost missed it.

I almost missed the insights this plant had to offer, offers still. I nearly rushed passed it's rhythmic movements and holy pulses.

But I didn't. The discipline of cleaning, of clearing the literal dust, caused me to notice and change. And that's what this inward journey takes. It takes discipline, courage, and faith. It requires saying no to many things and yes to a few. It demands I put away the to-do list, silence the phone, turn off the computer and be present.

It asks me to stare at a plant. To do nothing but watch.

May you shuffle and move and poke around the things that need it. May you draw inward in the same way you give outward. May you seek the pulse that binds everything together as one and immerse yourself in this work of creativity and peace - for you. For all.

FINDING A HOLY PLACE AND THE ONLY TWO GLUTEN-FREE BREADS I EVER MAKE

The other day it was warmer than it has been in months. It was 40 degrees and sunny and beautiful. If you live in the Northern hemisphere you may know of a specific phenomenon that happens on the first warm day of the year - on the day that follows months of cold and winter and quiet and burrowing in.

Everyone around you comes out of hibernation and the sense of communal happiness and relief and energy is palpable. We wear t-shirts and shorts, roll down our windows, and can't help but smile at everyone we see.

It was on this day I drove out to the lake, to my Holy Place, to celebrate the coming of spring and the gratitude that comes with it.

Here's what I mean by Holy Place:

It's the first spot that comes to mind when I'm overjoyed or devastated with grief or consumed with anger and confusion. It's where I go to work through emotions, think through my deeper thoughts, meditate, or simply sit and watch. I take my kids sometimes but most often go alone or while my youngest naps in the car. Sometimes I bring things to do and on other occasions I play the music really loud. Sometimes I just sit and soak up the silence.

This spot beckons in a more powerful way when the days are short and temperatures keep me cocooned indoors. I drive out to my Holy Place when it's almost blindingly sunny yet the air has an icy chill and the wind is biting. There, in my spot, the world seems so large and luminous while at the same time filled with peace and balance.

It's my Holy Place because it's the space where I most strongly sense the presence of God and the Spirit within myself. It connects me to something larger than me yet grounds me to the present moment happening immediately around me. 

It's the space that embraces me as me - no projections, no demands, no expectations.

No matter what baggage or praise I bring to this place, it accepts me. And it reminds me that life is larger than most of the chatter in my head yet is as small and intricate as the tiniest grain of sand.

Here's the thing - I didn't always have a Holy Place. In a way it sort of found me. One day, a normal kind of day, I had this intense feeling I needed to drive out to the lake. I didn't know why but followed it's call. Ever since, this place keeps pulling me back to remind me that we live in a holy, beautiful, unbelievably large, and unbelievably small, world. And to help me remember to live in the present moment as if it is the most precious gift. I have been changed by this space - this very regular spot I call holy and claim as my own.

And that's the gift isn't it?

Any place can be holy if you have eyes to see and a heart ready to experience it's wonder.

May you find and notice and answer the call of your Holy Place and may it connect you to this deep well of love and acceptance and grace that is yours for the taking.  


[THE RECIPES]

Here's why I love these recipes. First, both are unbelievably simple with a short ingredients list. Clean up is a cinch which is important to me. I'm not particularly in love with baking. To take on the task and have major clean up after is mostly more than I can handle and will quickly talk me out of the recipe before I begin. These recipes take a bowl or mixer bowl, blender [opt.],  one teaspoon, one tablespoon, a measuring cup, and maybe a spoon. Baking bliss.

CHEWY OAT BAGUETTE BREAD

This bread is great for sandwhiches, French toast, croutons, breadcrumbs, and really is a great multi-purpose bread.


Notes: 

I find that putting the water, milk, and vinegar in a blender or mixer, and then slowly adding the psyllium husk powder while it's running on low - medium makes a better [less chunky] gel. 

For a molasses or dark style bread, I replace the honey with molasses. 

Once I've mixed the dough, I let it sit for a few minutes while I clean up the very minimal dishes [seriously, less than 5 minute clean up]. I find this firms even dough that is a little on the wetter side and gives me a better gauge for adding additional flour. 

I almost always double the recipe. After the loaves have cooled, I thinly slice and freeze one of them.

 LIFE-CHANGING SEED BREAD

This bread makes awesome whole-grain style toast, especially with seed butter and raw honey or a favorite jam.

Notes:

I use pumpkin seeds in place of hazelnuts [for a nut-free option] and like to really grind / finely chop the pumpkin and sunflower seeds to a chunky flour. 

I like to use quinoa flakes in place of oats. I find this makes a bread that sticks together better than with the oats but really both work great.

I almost always double the recipe. After the loaves have cooled, I thinly slice and freeze one of them.

I've found that making a double batch can be useful in another way. This recipes asks you to really press the dough down into the bread pans. I use the extra loaf pan to press on top of the dough [place a piece of parchment on top of loaf being pressed]. It seems to give me more leverage and force. 

When the recipe calls to remove the bread from the pan and continue to bake, I place them loaves on a cookie rack rather than directly on the oven rack. It makes for an easier removal of the loaves from the oven.

CREAM OF KALE SOUP WITH HOMEMADE VEGETABLE BROTH

Hang out with a kid for a few moments and you'll quickly realize something - adults can be booorrrriiing.

Don't get me wrong, I love adult conversation, tasks, relationships, and responsibility. These and other things add meaning to my life. What I've found however, is adults have a hard time simply relaxing and having fun. Not "haha, I just bought a boat and a condo and I'm so good looking the mirror can't handle it and my wallet can't contain all the bills and my life is so busy and my cell phone won't stop ringing because I'm just that important" kind of fun. 

I mean real fun.

Fun void of busyness, to-do lists, self-proclamation, self-critcism, gossip, cruelty, empty relationships, superficial adventure, alcohol, small talk, and money - essentially fun absent of needing something to get us to fun.

Enter a child.

Kids need nothing to laugh - they laugh at themselves because life is simply hilarious. They play with whatever they can get their hands on and if all else fails, with air  because hey! there's a ton of that. They let their imaginations run wild and then they run wild. Kids fart and spit and get dirty and jumble their sentences in both confusion and excitement and run around naked and sometimes pee their pants but it's all good because life is awesome and the moment is to precious to worry about what anyone else thinks. Kids aren't proper or careful or neat or disciplined. 

Kids are expert be-ers.

Of course we can't live all of life like a kid - there is purpose to our growing up. Amazing things are built on the notion of maturation. 

But I wonder what would happen if we took a bit of child with us. 

For as long as I can remember I have loved to swing. Few things bring me the joy that comes when I'm sailing in the air, feet outstretched just trying to touch the sky, pretending I actually can. Swinging allows me both freedom and control. Faith and tangibility. Gut-busting excitement and unmovable peace. It makes me want to laugh and cry and squeal and listen. It brings out the best of opposites in me each and every time. 

Swinging is my kid-space. 

It's on the swing I allow my boundaries to shrink away and embrace the person I am and the world I live in. I give myself permission to be wholly me and express my emotions is their purest, deepest way. The swing reminds me that this world is good and beautiful and enchanted and worth believing in. The swing is where God speaks to my heart and my mind and every part of me I don't understand and every part I think I do. The swing embraces me in the moment and only asks that I climb up and start to pump, promising to take care of the rest. 

Swinging lets me feel all the realness of heaven while keeping me anchored to earth. 

Living a life of wholeness and health has a lot to do with food, what and the way we eat, but has so much more to do with our experience with living. If you go a day without a genuine smile [tragedies aside], you aren't living a healthy life. If you go a day without meaningful conversation where you both listen and are heard, especially with and by someone close to you, you aren't living a healthy life. If your answer for "how are you doing?" is "so busy" every time, you aren't living a healthy life. If you go a day without experiencing or noticing the hand of the Creator in the world around you, you aren't living a healthy life. If you look back on your day and can't point to a moment of authentic joy and purpose, you aren't living a healthy life.

Health may begin with food but it must turn to life, all of life, to be real and sustainable.

So maybe start by swinging. Put aside how old you are [or think you are] and let your boundaries crash, emotions go and, if only for a second, become a kid again.

Sometimes one second is all it takes to change your life.

[THE RECIPE]

1- 2 T. extra virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1 - 2 large bunches of kale cut into small strips

1 large eggplant, roasted and peeled*

1 -2 heads of garlic, roasted**

6 c. white beans [Great Northern, white lima, or bean of choice] cooked, drained, and rinsed

8 c. vegetable stock [recipe below]

2 - 3 tsp. sea salt

1/2 tsp. ground white pepper

2 - 3 T. nutritional yeast

1/2 tsp. ground mustard

1/2 tsp. ground cumin
Optional Additions: 1 head of lightly steamed broccoli and / or 1 head of lightly steamed cauliflower

*To roast the eggplant: place whole eggplant on a baking sheet. Put in oven with the rack in it's uppermost/highest position and broil on high [make sure the eggplant doesn't touch the oven coil - lower rack if necessary]. Broil until skin darkens and begins to crack, 10 - 20 minutes. Remove from oven. Hold the stem end with an ovenmit and, using cooking tongs or a fork, gently pull skin away. Compost or discard the skin and set eggplant "meat" aside.

**To roast garlic: preheat oven to 425 degrees. Wrap garlic clove in tinfoil and place on oven rack. Roast until clove is soft, approximately 30 minutes. Remove from oven and carefully squeeze each clove from the skin. Discard skins and set cloves aside.

In a blender combine 3 cups of the beans, salt, pepper, nutritional yeast, ground mustard, cumin, eggplant, and garlic. Blend until very smooth. Set aside.

In a large pot or Dutch oven, saute onion in olive oil until just translucent and soft.

Add broth and pureed bean mixture to pot, stir, and bring to a boil. Lower heat to maintain and simmer. Add the remaining 3 cups of beans and kale. Cook until kale is soft and bright green, about 5 minutes.

Puree some or all of the soup using a immersion or regular blender. 

Garnish with roasted kale strips, gluten-free croutons, toasted pumpkin seeds, or toppings of choice.

[VEGETABLE STOCK RECIPE]

Adapted from It's All Good by Gwenyth Paltrow

2 onions, quartered or 2 - 3 large leeks, chopped
2 large, whole carrots, quartered
2 stalks of celery with greens / leaves, quartered
8 - 10 shitake mushroom stems [reserved from past cooking]
3 whole large tomatoes, quartered
6 cloves of garlic, peeled
large handful of fennel greens
large handful of fresh parsley [stems and leaves]
large handful of fresh thyme [whole sprigs]
2 sprigs of fresh tarragon
1 sprig of fresh rosemary
3 - 4 bay leaves
1 tsp. turmeric powder
2 - 3 tsp. sea salt
1 1/2 tsp. whole peppercorns
3 quarts of water

Combine all in a large pot or Dutch oven and bring to boil. Reduce heat to simmer and cook for 45 minutes. Strain vegetables and bottle liquid. Option to can stock using a pressure canner according to manufacturer's instructions. I like to reserve the vegetables for a second round, adding more tomatoes, herbs, seasoning, and water.