A DIFFERENT LOOK AT LOVE AND WARM OAT CEREAL with medjool dates, Hunza raisins, and Indian spices

Valentine's day is one cloaked in controversy and fluff and expectation. It can be beautiful in it's most humble sense - a day set aside to show those around you how much you care. It can be a day to pause and acknowledge the beautiful person you are. But it can be painful - a reminder of loss or disappointment or what never was.

But today, on this day of love, I wonder if we focus on a bit larger picture.

I love the idea of love God [or Spirit or whatever designation you've bestowed on this essence we understand as larger than ourselves] and love others.

I've found that sinking into this mystery of Spirit, sitting quietly in its presence, has led me into greater compassion for others. Rather than reacting from my own place of hurt, I am slowly learning to see first this light of Spirit we all share. A oneness we can enjoy because we are human and alive and here, on this earth, together. Differences slowly break under the weight of grace. Everything around is alive with a gentle yet powerful pulse.

In this place, wounds can be healed. A larger, more grand view of life set in place.

I don't write this as a theoretical idea - a notion I believe but haven't tested to be true.

Over the last two years I've worked intentionally to heal the brokenness stored deep within the crevices of my body, some a lifetime old. I've delved into yoga as more than a physical practice, but as a way of being. I've critically thought through the faith I was given at birth, wrestled it, and released what needed to go. I've grieved and celebrated and faced down all the fears and emotion I expend so much energy desperately trying to silence. And I've asked all the questions I've been afraid of. I've made space in my life for doubt and confusion and settled into not having the answers to some very big things.

And I've come out of all of this still walking. Still breathing. Still smiling although now in more settled, free, and authentic way.

On this day we call Valentine's, may you sink into whatever discomfort arises. May you equally melt into the joy. May you welcome all of the feelings that rise to the surface and give them a place at your interior table, acknowledging their importance and worth in your life. And then may you embrace the ones that lead you to a deeper sense of loving God and loving others. May you have the courage to go deep within yourself with a powerful sense of curiosity, dig up what lies there, and move into a place so much grander than you could ever imagine.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Elizabeth Kubler Ross

[ABOUT THE RECIPE]

This morning I woke up with this intense need for a warm, nourishing, grounding, and balancing breakfast. This recipe is my go to, especially when daybreak presents itself in the single digits. The spices found in the Korma powder are excellent at warming the body from the inside and anchoring the airy, empty feeling that so often comes from eating non-seasonally within the winter season [for example, cold salads and ice cream when the earth is covered in white]. Adding strong spices increases the flavor and satisfaction of the food, thus decreasing the need for excessive sweetener and salt.

[THE RECIPE]
Serves 4

1 1/2 c. old fashioned rolled oats
3 - 4 c. water [adjust to thickness desired, less water will give you a thicker cereal]
1/8 c. chia seeds
2 T. ghee
1 heaping tsp. Korma powder [see recipe below]
1/4 tsp. cardamom powder
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. sea salt
6 - 8 medjool dates, pitted and thinly sliced
1/4 c. Hunza golden raisins

Garnish options: maple syrup or raw honey, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, almonds, fresh or frozen berries, cut apple or pear, milk of choice, toasted coconut flakes

Korma Powder Recipe:

1 T. whole coriander seeds
1 T. whole cumin seeds
1 T. whole fennel seeds
1 T. whole mustard seeds
1 T. whole fenugreek seeds
1 T. whole cardamom seeds
1 T. poppy seeds
1 T. whole pepper seeds
1 T. ground cinnamon
1 T. ground ginger
1 T. ground turmeric
1 tsp. ground cloves

Place all Korma powder ingredients in a spice grinder or Vitamix dry container. Blend on high until a very fine powder is achieved. Transfer to an glass container with tight-fitting lid. Store in a cool, dark place.

In a medium size sauce pan, combine oats, chia seeds, cardamom, ginger, Korma powder, and sea salt. Add water and ghee and bring to boil over medium-high heat. Once water boils, reduce heat to low, add dates and raisins, and cook until all of the water has been absorbed, stirring frequently. Add more water for a thinner consistency.

Divide into bowls and top with garnishes desired. Serve warm.

GINGER MOLASSES HOT CACAO + HOMEMADE MARSHMALLOWS

It's the eve of Valentine's Day and I've found that there are two camps of thought about this holiday: love it and hate it. The first dives head first into all things Hallmark and pink and floral and sweet. The second live in complete denial this holiday even exists and intentionally wear all black, silently screaming "if you even glance at me in a lovey, syrupy way, so help me....!"

I get it. The love. The hate. V-day either allows us a day to exploit the love we have or is a brutal reminder of what we seem to be missing.

Unless.

What if this specific day isn't about romantic relationships, or the lack there of, at all? What if we've all been hoodwinked in believing this day is about external love and have been blinded from seeing the day for what it is?

What if this day was about loving you - this messed up, crazy, never-has-it-all-together, beautiful, wonderful you?

Could you do it?

Could you believe you are worth a whole day to celebrate simply loving you?

It's so hard. So, so hard to believe all the unique things that make us who we are are worth celebrating. Most days we screw up. Most days we hurt those we love. We fail and cry and gossip and hate and fall into the trap of understanding life as meaningless. We believe the worst things we think about ourselves are actually true and everyone else is thinking them too.

And then February 14 comes around and our failures or successes in a certain relationship area are broadcasted. Or we're given 24 hours to reassess what we believe. We're given an entire day to repeat over and over again "I love me. I'm beautiful. I'm worth it. I'm perfect."

One day to shelve all the negative voices in our head that try so hard to trap us in living a life far less grand than what we were created to live. Voices that keep us small.

So maybe this Valentine's day you write a love letter to you. Don't hold back. Jot down everything you love about yourself or think you could love or dream you could be. Even if you don't believe it, write it down. Even if it scares you, write it down.

And then read it over and over again until may you begin to believe in the beauty that is found in every single ounce of you.

Because here's a secret: if you start to believe you're worth this kind of love and live from this place of acceptance and grace, others will too.

And you'll begin to find beauty and connection in everything.

So go on a date or spend time with friends. Rent a movie, go outside, watch the stars, or indulge in as many chocolate somethings you possibly can. Scream into a pillow or cry if you need to and then smile because you let yourself feel. Celebrate in a way that makes you feel most alive and loved by no one other than you.

But please. Please don't bash or banish this day. Please don't allow any bit of loathing to taint what could be. And please don't gloat. Please don't shamelessly flaunt whatever love you think you have and flash it around like a stack of 100s or diamonds or fancy clothes. Because all of this is simply that, glitter and glam that dies away. And because every time you do, every time you hide or deny or hate or gloat or flaunt, each time you miss the opportunity to give this special day a new name, a new purpose. And you miss the chance to completely revel in you. This unique, no-one-quite-like it, absolutely wonderful you.

No matter what, where you stand or think you stand, please celebrate. Because if nothing else, this world could use a little more celebration.

Happy Valentine's Day.


Now, a little about this recipe. In my head I think all I need to say is "you have to try it" and you will but somehow that's, rightfully so, not quite enough so I'll say a little more.

I was curious about combining molasses and cacao and found that the flavor combination is deep and rich and almost smoky. Sort of bitter but also sweet. A little like Valentine's Day if you think about it.

Here's the nutrition deal.

Blackstrap molasses is one of the few sweeteners with an abundance of minerals packed in. Calcium? Check. Iron? Check. Potassium? Check.

Translation, if you are pregnant or post-partum [even years after having your last baby] this is an awesome food to add to your diet as it gives you the minerals you and the baby need to maintain health and acts as a blood tonic after you've given birth, replenishing what has been lost.

Molasses works to reduce dampness and cold in the body which means if you're experiencing winter cold right now this might just help you warm from the inside out. A great treat after outdoor winter fun!

In addition to all this goodness, if you take a bit [1 - 2 tablespoons] of molasses in warm water an hour or so prior to bed it will aid the bowels and soften things up first thing in the morning. Super helpful for issues surrounding constipation. I'd nix the cacao though as it can be stimulating - not exactly what you want prior to catching some Zzz's.

Good for almost every digestive organ in your body, adding molasses really providess more than simply flavor to this hot drink.


[RECIPE]
Serves One

2 c. boiling water
1  T. molasses
2 tsp. cacao or cocoa powder [or carob if you can't do chocolate]
2 pinches of each: sea salt, Ceylon cinnamon, ground ginger

Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan or tea kettle. While the water is warming, place the remaining ingredients in a large mug. Pour the boiling water into the mug and whisk until everything has dissolved into water. Top with marshmallows and enjoy!

Important Note: This is a slightly bitter drink until you add the marshmallows. If you forgo the marshmallows you may want to add a touch of raw honey or maple syrup until you reach the sweetness you desire.

[HOMEMADE MARSHMALLOWS]

I was visiting a friend of mine and found these on her counter. I haven't had a marshmallow in years for a host of reasons, mainly because on a basic level they are puffed chemicals. Admittedly delicious but still, disgusting.

And then there's these little babies. Simple, whole food ingredients without an ounce of chemical or processing. So, so good.

Because I love adding medicinal herbs to just about everything, try adding 1 tablespoon of marshmallow root powder to the gelatin and water. Marshmallow root is great for gut inflammation and adds an authentic mallow-y taste.

Head over here for the recipe!

PUDDING 3 WAYS: CHOCOLATE + CAROB + KEY LIME

So pudding. We love pudding in this house. I mean all caps and in italics LOVE pudding. For the longest time I tried to find a pudding recipe that maintained the texture and flavor of the traditional but with a bit of added virtue. Meaning I wanted a pudding I could eat any day, all day without an ounce of guilt. Okay maybe not all day but definitely without the guilt. At the time I couldn't find any so, in frustration [desperation?], I started experimenting.

From this came two recipes. And we love them both.

The first I created specifically for my youngest child who is allergic [hives and all] to cacao / cocoa / chocolate. I know, the horror right?! No way was I going to make pudding for the rest of us and keep it from her. Come to find out it's delicious and we all love it! It's sweetener free, using dates in place of syrup, honey, or sugar. I add coconut oil to boost the healthy fat content but this isn't necessary and can be cut if fat is a concern. Oh and for the record, this is not a low-fat treat. But "low fat" has become a bit of a swear word in some circles anyway and it is packed with healthy fats!

The second recipe is for any pure chocolate lovers [or in my 4 year-old's words "chocolate monsters"]. Adding less maple syrup and / or more cacao will place it in the realm of dark chocolate and adding more syrup and less cacao brings it closer to milk chocolate in flavor.

We like to experiment with different natural flavors: almond, hazelnut, peppermint, and coconut. Adding toasted coconut flakes as a garnish is amazing. Top either pudding with berries, whipped coconut cream [see recipe below], or toasted nuts. Add a tablespoon of seed or nut butter for a peanut butter-chocolate blend. The options are endless which means you can try something different every day!

The beauty with simple recipes using versitile ingredients is once you've made them a few times over you can really get creative. For example, the other night I whipped up a key lime version [listed below] using many of these ingredients.

[CAROB + DATE PUDDING]

2 ripe avocados
8 - 10 dates, pitted
boiling water
3 - 4 T. carob powder
1 T. unrefined / raw / extra virgin coconut oil, soft but not melted [optional]
pinch of sea salt
pinch of cinnamon

Place dates in a glass cup or jar [Ball jars work great] and add boiling water until dates are just covered. Set aside for 10 - 20 minutes so soak. Cut avocados in half, remove pit, and scoop out flesh into a blender or food processor. Add carob powder, coconut oil, sea salt, and cinnamon. When dates are finished soaking and soft pour dates and water into the blender or food processor. Blend on high until mixture is thick and very smooth. Transfer to a glass bowl, cover and refrigerate to stiffen. You can also enjoy immediately!

[CACAO + MAPLE SYRUP PUDDING]

2 ripe avocados
1/8 - 1/4 c. unrefined / raw / extra virgin coconut oil, soft but not melted [less oil makes a softer pudding, more oil makes a more fudge-like pudding after refrigeration]
1/4 - 1/3 c. maple syrup, local if available [start with the smaller amount and add to taste if needed]
3 T. raw cacao powder [or cocoa powder]
pinch sea salt
pinch of cinnamon

Cut avocados in half, remove pit, and scoop out flesh into a blender or food processor. Add coconut oil, maple syrup, cacao or cocoa powder, sea salt, and cinnamon. Blend on high until mixture is thick and very smooth. Transfer to a glass bowl, cover and refrigerate to stiffen. You can also enjoy immediately!

Note: If you serve immediately the texture will be standard pudding-like. If you refrigerate, the texture becomes more fudge like. Both are delicious!

[KEY LIME PUDDING]

2 ripe avocados
2 - 3 T. unrefined / raw / extra virgin coconut oil, soft but not melted [less oil makes a softer pudding, more oil makes a more fudge-like pudding after refrigeration]
1/4 - 1/3 c. maple syrup, local if available [start with the smaller amount and add to taste if needed]
1/2 - 1 whole lime, juiced
pinch sea salt

Cut avocados in half, remove pit, and scoop out flesh into a blender or food processor. Add coconut oil, maple syrup, fresh lime juice, and sea salt. Blend on high until mixture is thick and very smooth. Transfer to a glass bowl, cover and refrigerate to stiffen. You can also enjoy immediately!

Note: If you serve immediately the texture will be standard pudding-like. If you refrigerate, the texture becomes more fudge like. Both are delicious!

[COCONUT WHIPPED TOPPING]

To make coconut whipped cream: place a can of regular coconut milk in the fridge to separate. To test, gently shake the can slowly. If you hear liquid, continue to refrigerate. If you don't it is ready.  When ready, carefully remove lid and scoop out just the solid coconut cream. Reserve the coconut liquid [water] for smoothies, jello, or another recipe.

Place coconut cream in a bowl and add a tablespoon or two of maple syrup [if sweet whipped topping is desired], the contents of a scraped vanilla bean or a large pinch of vanilla powder [optional], and a pinch of sea salt. Whip on high for a minute or so until soft peaks that hold their shape have formed. Place whipped cream in a glass bowl, cover, and refrigerate 30 - 60 minutes to set.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND OTHER SWEET TREATS

Okay, it's Valentine's Day, you had to know love-something was coming. Stay with me for a minute or two and I promise some yummy recipes at the end.

Since becoming a parent, I am realizing God outfitted us with a certain little mechanism that makes it impossible - I mean pull your hair out, cross your eyes, scream into a pillow impossible - to not love your child. Both unbelievably frustrating and so fantastically brilliant it's hard to really understand. I've found this thing called unconditional love to be devastatingly hard yet so beautiful it brings me to tears. It's what makes me want so deeply, from the core of my being, to give my children the best possible life.

If you're a fellow parent* you know unconditional love gets us through the "I hate yous!" and "No! NOs!" and "WAAAAAAAAs!" and whining and complaining and ignoring. It's what allows us to laugh at the pee in our hands, the stack of dirty diapers to be sprayed, the parent/child torture called teething and then adolescence. It's what breaks our hearts and then makes them burst and brings us to our knees - daily.

Unconditional love blinds [maybe belatedly but still] us to the tantrums in the grocery store, the all-nighters [when's the last time you had a full nights sleep?], the dirt on the freshly mopped floor, the bodies that become canvases, the lost phones, swallowed money, the broken bones, and chicken pox. It keeps us sane through the "I don't like this" after hours in the kitchen, the wet beds, the marked up walls, the broken windows, the laundry, the dishes, and the flu. It covers the vomit down your shirt, the chunk of food behind your ear, the shower that you should have taken three days ago [okay, five]. It forgives the insensitive comments, inappropriate jokes, and obnoxiously loud screams.

This love carries us through puberty, it promises your child actually does love you back, and rejoices in those small moments that take your breath away. It's what makes you cling to the hope it's only a phase and gives you endurance to weather the phase that sticks around for years [decades?]. Unconditional love makes us stronger than we really are, wiser than we should be, and ready with open arms regardless of the circumstance. It makes us pack more toys than necessary - you know, just in case they need that one they haven't played with in 3 years. It cares deeply about the little details that matter so much.

I know most people think of this day, Valentine's Day, as the day of romance. I usually do too. Today however I want to say thank you. If you're a parent, thank you for sticking by your child. For doing the work [usually very hard work] of loving your children well. Thank you for showing up and being present. You do make a difference. Every effort, every conversation, every smile, every hug, every word of encouragement, every tough conversation, every boundary, each time you bite your tongue, every minute, every prayer - they matter. Please keep going. If you are in a rough season, please keep going. If you are in a season of joy , please keep going. Trust that this love will carry you through.

[*] If you're not a parent then the jokes on you because in one way or another you've parented somebody. Maybe it's the highschoolers you mentor, the kid you tutor, the campers you serve, the kids you babysit, or the neighbor you see from time to time. Maybe it's the toddler you talk to in the check-out line or the newborn infant you pass to an exhausted but ecstatic new mom. Maybe it's the family you pray for each day or the kid you fill a backpack for. Maybe you sponsor a child you will most likely never meet but write him / her letters anyway. Maybe you cuddle babies in tiny huts on a different continent or care for infants who may not live to see tomorrow. To those of you who are parents without being parents, thank you. Thank you for caring for our children in a way that we aren't able to. Thank you for stepping in when we just need a break and for giving our kids another positive example to follow. Thank you for bringing new energy, enthusiasm, hope and grace. We need you, so please keep going.

This Valentine's Day may you celebrate the ways parenthood [actual or otherwise] have shown you just how much love you can hold. May it open your eyes to blessings overlooked, lessons learned, and mercy granted. May it remind you of prayers answered, memories made [some even forgotten], and a love so strong it makes you weak.

Happy Valentine's Day.

[THE RECIPES]

Below are some of my favorite sweet treats. Grab your hunnies and your honey [and dates and chocolate and carob] and celebrate this day of love!

Note: I'm in the process of updating this blog which means some of the pictures are sorely outdated [trust me] so please bear with me!

Chocolate Truffles
Carob-Chia Pudding
Velvet Chocolate Ice Cream
Creamy-Dreamy Fudgesicles
Date-Sweetened Ice Cream
Real-Food Brownies
Raw Chocolate Milkshake
Berry-Lavender Freezer Cupcakes
Chocolate-Coconut Freezer Fudge
Chocolate Freezer Fudge